A week and one day ago, my mamaw went home to be with Jesus, Who she loved more than anything, Who she lived her whole life looking forward to seeing.
I'll be honest in saying it still doesn't really feel real. It's so hard to believe that she's gone. It's hard to believe that I'll never go to her house and hear her say, "Well, there's Gracie" when I walk in. It's unimaginable really.
No one except me will ever really know the impact that woman had on my life. I don't think she even knew the magnitude of her impact on me (and the world), but I hope she did.
My mamaw showed me what real worship looked like. She was a passionate worshipper. She shouted praises loud, as if it was only her and God in the room. She was so filled with the Spirit, it was like she just couldn't hold that joy in. She just had to rejoice and bring Him praise. But that was at church.
What was really impactful was the way worship was a part of her everyday life. You couldn't have a very long conversation with her without her bringing up the Lord. She loved Him, and she had to talk about it. I spent a large portion of my life just listening to her sing hymns while sitting in her rocking chair. She spent her mundane life just sitting and singing, "What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the Blood of Jesus."
She showed me that worship isn't just something you do at church on Sunday; it's how you live.
It seems impossible that I'll never get to see her lifestyle of worship here ever again, but I just keep trying to remind myself that while that is true, I will see her worship again. I will see her worship in the very place God has prepared for those who love Him.
Today during my quiet time, I was journaling my feelings, and I felt like the Lord showed me something really beautiful. I was writing out some of the qualities about my mamaw that I loved and would miss so much now that she's gone. And then, it hit me. The qualities I wrote about were Jesus working in and through her.
While I will never see those qualities in my mamaw on this side of eternity ever again, I will still experience them. Straight from the Source Himself. Jesus.
God allowed me to have almost 22 years with the most Spirit-filled individual I have ever known. I hope I never take that for granted and am always thankful for the years I was blessed with her. I wish more than anything my future children could have met her and known what it was like to be loved by her, but I know I was blessed to have as much time with her as I did.
For the rest of my life, I will try to carry her legacy the best that I can: love without bounds, worship Jesus with all that I have, live a life led by the Holy Spirit, and take the time to really see people. I got to see that modeled firsthand.
Wanda Williams was one of a kind. I am the most blessed girl on this planet to have gotten to be her little Gracie, and I can't wait to see her shouting praises again.
My mamaw would not have ever wanted me to write a post honoring her like this without the Gospel being shared and the lost having an opportunity to be saved. The fact is, we are all sinners. We have all done wrong. But God, in His love and mercy, sent His Son Jesus to pay the price for our sin. Jesus was born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, died on the cross for our sins, was buried, and rose from the dead on the third day. All who place their faith and trust in Him will be saved. Romans 10:13 says, "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall saved." If you will call on the Name of the Lord today, admit you are a sinner in need of a Savior, and ask Him to save you, He will!
Jesus said this in Luke 15:7, "I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance." If you just made the decision to follow Jesus, I guarantee my mamaw is rejoicing in Heaven over that right now. If you just placed your faith in Jesus or have questions about that, please email me lesliejessie20@gmail.com or contact me on Instagram @lesliekandel7. I would love to hear from you!
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