Today was hard. It was my grandparents' estate sale. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but there was no way I could've prepared myself for the roller coaster of emotions I've felt today.
As I walked into our Williams family home, I saw blank walls where photos upon photos of our family used to be. I saw empty space where the furniture we all used to pile on to sit together once was. And most noticeably, there was silence instead of my mamaw's voice singing hymns and my papaw's gameshows on the tv.
How I wish I could've heard "What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the Blood of Jesus." with "Are you read to play Family Feud?" in the background.
When someone close to you passes, you know you'll miss them, but you're never really prepared for moments like that. For the little everyday things that you once took for granted to be the very things that make your heart break later.
It's strange because despite all of that, I felt so much joy and peace today. You may be wondering how that's possible. It's possible because of Jesus.
Because while it absolutely breaks me to lost not just my grandparents but also along with them, our family home, traditions as we knew them, and ultimately, our childhoods, I can still have hope.
Since I was already in Union County today, I visited my grandparents' grave. I sat down for a few minutes and decided to let, "When We All Get To Heaven" play. It was probably a strange sight to anyone else: a 22 year old girl sitting in front of a grave with tears streaming down her face but also smiling a genuine smile as an old hymn about Heaven played out of an iPhone speaker.
What anyone watching may not have realized though is that while I weeped at the loss of my mamaw and papaw, I smiled that smile because I knew with absolute certainty that my mamaw and papaw weren't there. They were in the presence of God, in that place the hymn was talking about.
As I sat there in the grass and dirt, the Holy Spirit brought 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 to my mind: "For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord."
I felt such joy rise up in me in that moment, knowing what my hope as a follower of Jesus is.
As a follower of Jesus, I can feel the deep pain I felt today and still experience the deepest peace in my soul. Because I know death doesn't have the final say. Jesus defeated death long, long ago.
My verse that I am focusing on for the rest of the year is John 16:33: "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."
I saw that verse be so true for my life today. Jesus said in the world, we WILL have tribulation. Losing my grandparents and facing such a huge life change due to that is definitely tribulation for me. BUT because Jesus has overcome the world, I can be of good cheer! I can take heart! I can have peace in Him!
I hope this post encourages you today that no matter what you're facing, God has already won the victory! Be of good cheer, He's overcome the world.
I want to end this post with something I got from the estate sale today. I brought home a giant box of my mamaw's books, and when I got home, I started going through them. I found a devotional she had went through who knows how long ago. This devotional started each day with a prayer. She often journaled her own prayer beside it or her thoughts on that specific prayer. There was a prayer where the writer asked the Holy Spirit to lead their life. My mamaw simply wrote beside this prayer, "This is my prayer for my life." How simple and beautiful.
May that be the prayer of all of our lives: for the Holy Spirit to lead our lives. When we live a life led by Him, it's one of peace, joy, and love.
Here is this amazing photo of my grandparents when they were young.
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