If there is one thing I am learning this semester, it is that my emotions are even more inconsistent than my blog posting schedule. (Sorry yes I just had to roast myself on that). But anyways, this semester. Yes, this semester.
My classes are more demanding than ever before, both of my roommates have boyfriends while I am single, and I started my first job. In such a short amount of time, so much about my normal, daily life changed, and as a type 6 on the enneagram, change is not always my favorite thing in the world.
I think that is one of my favorite qualities of Jesus is how reliable, loyal, and consistent He is. He promised to never leave me nor forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6), and He has always delivered on that promise. So often, I feel like I unintentionally view God just as I do anyone else in my life: someone who can let me down. I know in my heart that I can trust Him and that He won't let me down, but then I live my life as if I need to be careful "just in case" He doesn't come through. When in reality, we do not need to be viewing God this way. God is not like humans. He is perfect, He never makes a mistake, He never disappoints. His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9). We can trust Him because He has never given us any reason not to.
The story of Peter's denial to me at least gives a clear example of how inconsistent man can be but how faithful God remains through that inconsistency. After Jesus and the disciples had eaten the Passover meal, Jesus declares that they will all be scattered, and Peter, being Peter, makes a bold declaration about being the one who would never leave Jesus. Jesus, being Jesus, knows the future and tells Peter that he will in fact deny Him three times. Peter does not want to hear it though and promises that he would die with Jesus before he would deny Him (found in Matthew 26:31-35).
Later on in the very same chapter after Jesus has been arrested, Jesus' words prove to be true, and Peter denies Him not once, not twice, but three times! Not only that, but Matthew goes as far as to say in verse 74 that Peter began "to curse and to swear." This is the same guy who 35 verses before vowed to NEVER deny Him. Isn't Peter seemingly the most inconsistent guy you know?
Let's not be so quick to pass judgment on Peter though because we ourselves are also very unreliable. We don't always feel "on fire" for God, we don't always get up in time for church, we don't always read our Bibles everyday, we don't always dance and jump around to worship music in our rooms (okay maybe that one's just me haha). But you get the point. We aren't consistent when it comes to our pursuit of God, so what is His response? Does He treat us how we treat Him? Let's go back to Jesus and Peter's story and find out.
Jesus is crucified and resurrected, and understandably you're probably wondering how He reacted to Peter. I mean if your best friend promised to never leave you then when asked if he knew you, he cussed, acted like a crazy person, and straight denied even knowing you, then let you die an unthinkable death, would you welcome him back with open arms? No, if you're honest with yourself, you probably wouldn't. But Jesus, being Jesus, that is exactly what He did.
He asks Peter in John 21 three times if he loves Him. I love Jesus. He gave Peter the chance to tell Him he loved Him three times to show him that he was forgiven, his disloyalty was a thing of the past. All that mattered was right now, and what Jesus had in store for him was a purpose bigger than Peter could have ever imagined for himself. Jesus tells him three times to feed His lambs, and see, Jesus not only forgave Peter but also gave him an important job to do. It didn't matter that Peter had been inconsistent because Jesus had been consistent. He was obedient unto death even the death of the cross (Philippians 2:8), and because of Jesus' sacrifice, the striving and the stress were over.
So friend, somedays you may feel on top of the world, and others you may feel like you are barely holding on. Don't get discouraged with yourself. Emotions change, but when they do change, you can rest in the fact that your Savior never will. He will be consistent when you, your feelings, and your circumstances are not. He is the only one who cannot and will not change. Ever.
In the words of Lauren Daigle, "Your love is loyal, more faithful than the rising sun. This grace for me I can't outrun, Your love is loyal."
