I came into this new year with a bit of a heavy heart and honestly a bit confused. Everyone around me seemed SO excited about this new decade, but I, on the other hand, was a bit sad to the past decade leave. It felt like the last bit of my childhood was suddenly gone and also like a closing on a big chapter of my life. It felt more like a goodbye to me than it did a hello (and if you're wondering, yes I often am the "glass half empty" person).
When the clock struck midnight on New Year's Eve, did I feel any different per say? No, of course not. However, it still felt like I was turning over the last page of a big book with a very unsatisfying, cliffhanger ending. You know the ones, where you're left wondering, "Is this IT? Where is the rest of it?"
The new decade also had a sense of worry attached to it. By the end of this decade, I will be almost thirty years old. To me, that added an extra pressure to be married and settled with a good job by the end of this decade. I just wanted a little extra time in 2010-2019, but I am called to forget those things which are behind and reach forth unto those things which are before (Philippians 3:13). God has a specific purpose for me to live out in this new year and decade, and I should delight in doing His Will. And in any decade, my best will still be yet to come because I have my heavenly home with the Lord waiting for me. I have no reason to feel "under pressure" to do anything in this next week, year, or decade besides to pursue my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ with my whole heart.
Everyone always seems to have their resolutions or more recently their "word" for the year. I have never really had a word for the year before, and to be honest with you all, I didn't plan on it this year either. That is until this past Saturday night I was reading in Joshua 5. Verse 14 says that Joshua "fell on his face to the earth, and did worship."
Something about that just really stuck out to me, and I wrote a note in my Bible by the verse that said, "Our posture is often an indicator of our worship."
See, Joshua's posture was down on the ground. His posture was a humble one. Jesus said in Matthew 23:12, "And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted." God was lifted high as Joshua was lowered down. It wasn't about Joshua, it was about the Lord. It was about the glory, honor, fame, and magnitude of the Lord, and it still should be the same today.
So, I guess I have more of a thought instead of a word for 2020. I want to live in a constant posture of obedience and humility before the Lord because ultimately, my righteousness is as filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). BUT because of Jesus, I have been made the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21). I want my life everyday to reflect the fact that all that I am is only because of all that He is. I want those around me to see Jesus in me. I want to be led step by step, moment by moment by the Holy Spirit of God.
So, it is sad to see this past decade go. After all, this was the decade that I first met Christ and was the first decade I got to walk through with Him, but I am very excited to see what God does in this next decade. I know He is going to blow my mind as He always does. He is going to continue to mold me, shape me, and grow me. It is going to be another decade with Jesus, and because of that fact alone, I know it is going to be a great one!
"He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30.
