A "struggle" of mine I guess you could call it is 'dealing with' my singleness. It is such a journey. Some days I am so focused on the here and now I don't even think about relationships, and then other days, I am eating brownies, ranting with my roommates & looking at Instagram couples wondering, "When is a godly guy going to come along and love me like that?" I know we can't be the only group of friends who does that.
A few weeks ago at Cru, God spoke something to my heart on my singleness that I believe will speak life into areas of your heart that in the past you may have been too afraid to let the Lord into.
During worship that night, God began to stir in me, making me wonder what exactly my desires for a relationship are and where they come from. I am a hopeless romantic as I like to call myself, crying at every youtube couple, chick flick, and teen drama show I see. If someone invited me to a wedding of two people I didn't even know, I'd still want to go. and I'd still probably cry. I just love 'love.' Which is a little ironic since I couldn't be more single if I tried to be.
I have always dreamed of being fully known and loved and having a wedding and wearing white and feeling beautiful and knowing someone loves me so much that he would want to be with me forever. And as 'You're Beautiful by Phil Wickham was playing that night, it hit me.
Jesus already gave me all of those things.
"Being fully known and loved"-
"O LORD, Thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, Thou understandest my thoughts afar off." Psalm 139:1-2
"Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins." 1 John 4:10
Jesus knows and understands me better than I even know and understand myself, and at the same time He also loves me more than anyone else does.
"Having a wedding and wearing white"-
"And I heard as it were the voice of a great multitude, and as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of mighty thunderings, saying, 'Alleluia: for the Lord God omnipotent reigneth. Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to Him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and His wife hath made herself ready. And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints." Revelation 19:6-7
"For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is His Name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall He be called." Isaiah 54:5
"'Come now, and let us reason together,' saith the LORD: 'though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool." Isaiah 1:18
Because I have trusted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, I am a part of His Church, His bride. The moment I was saved, He washed my sins away and clothed me in pure, white garments.
"Feeling beautiful"-
"He hath made everything beautiful in His time: also He hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end." Ecclesiastes 3:11
"Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when He shall appear, we shall be like Him; for we shall see Him as He is." 1 John 3:2
When Jesus returns, all of His children will be like Him, and while I am not sure what exactly that means, I know we will be beautiful. Nothing and no one is more beautiful than Jesus, and if we are like Him and made in the image of God, we must be beautiful too.
"Knowing someone loves me so much that he would want to be with me forever"-
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16.
Jesus literally died for the chance of spending forever with me.
The Word says that we lack no good thing in the Lord, and you hear that and think, "Amen!" but then still live as if you lack a lot of things. God created us to look to Him for our needs, to fulfill those little desires we have. I encourage you to look deep into the things you want in life and see if it is something that you as a son or daughter of the King of kings already have in your possession!
Do I still want to someday (soon haha) be in a relationship and fall in love? Absolutely! But I have come to the realization that what I have in Jesus brings me more joy, peace, and fulfillment than any guy could. When God does bring a relationship into my life, it will be more successful because I will already know my identity is in Jesus and Jesus alone.
Future husband, if you happen to be reading this whoever you are, I hope you know you are complete in Him (Colossians 2:10) and loved with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3).
Outfit details
Shirt: American Eagle
Jeans: Free People
Watch: Apple
Scrunchie: The Copper Closet
Necklace: Belk
Hair tie: Teleties
Bracelets: Alex and Ani
Shoes: Local Boutique (don't remember which one)