This entire month has been so busy! My dad has had what seems like an endless amount of basketball games, last week I helped teach 5th & 6th graders at my church's VBS, and this week I have been at the beach with my family. It has been really difficult to just be still and sit alone with God, and if I am being honest, it has made me really anxious. It is odd: I spent the entire school year telling myself it would be so much easier to spend time with God once I got home for the summer when in reality, it was much easier to spend time with Him during the school year due to my set schedule.
Every day I knew I had an hour before class to focus on the Father, and not having that special time with Him lately has made me miss Him so much. He never left me of course, His Spirit has been with me this entire time, but just like any other friend, we must spend intentional time with Jesus to grow our relationships with Him. As I mentioned, anxiety began to creep in, and I longed for the peace of God.
This week, we are discussing a familiar miracle in the Bible: when Jesus calms the storm. The story can be found in Matthew 8:23-27, Mark 4:35-41, and Luke 8: 22-25. Jesus and the disciples were riding in a boat as a storm poured down on them. This was not just a sprinkle either; the disciples really feared for their lives. See, they knew Jesus was in their boat, but they could not see Him, causing them to fear. As I felt more and more fear these past couple of weeks, I began to call out to God begging, pleading for His help. I continued walking in my fear, and I could not help but wonder if God had left me. After all, where was His peace? Where was His voice?
I imagine the disciples felt the same way when they found Jesus "in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow" (Mark 4:38). This verse almost makes me laugh because the disciples genuinely thought they were going to die, and here is Jesus just sleeping away without any worry in the world. Once He wakes up, He calmed the storm with the winds and waves obeying His uttering of the simple but yet profound command, "Peace, be still."
I think we all can be like the disciples were when they woke Jesus up in verse 38 with this seemingly reasonable question, "Master, carest thou not that we perish?"
We look at Him as if to say, "Lord, do You not care what is happening to me right now?"
Jesus was disappointed in their lack of faith, but He still calmed their storm. I love that God overlooks our shortcomings and instead decides to have His power upon our situations.
In the midst of my own pleading, God led me to this part of Scripture where I saw myself in the disciples. I too felt afraid and wondered how I could be in the circumstances I was in if Jesus really was in my boat. The enemy loved this, he loved seeing me in my misery longing for the presence of God but not being able to find it as easily as I usually do. I see now that God let my storm rage on because it was not the storm He was worried about, it was the depth of our relationship.
He knew it would require a whole new level of trust for me to continue to seek Him even when I could not feel Him as close as I had in the past. So, I pressed on and fought against the lies of the enemy. While it has not been as easy to find complete alone time with God, I continued praying and talking to Him throughout the day, kept reading the Word when I could, and meditated on verses from memory when I felt anxious. Eventually, Jesus spoke those beautiful words over my life, "Peace, be still," and I could finally rest in Him again. I danced and jumped around as I got ready in the bathroom to worship music and felt pure joy as my goofy grin broke out across my face.
Maybe right now you are facing your own storm. You know Jesus is in your boat, but it almost sees like He's asleep because you cannot see or hear Him working. I encourage you to chase after Him even harder. If you are saved, He is still just as much with you as He was the moment He saved you. He may appear asleep, but He is wide awake and right there with you giving you strength when you do not even realize it. If the wind and the sea listen intently to every word of our great God, I think it is safe to say we do not have to worry or fear.
