It can be so easy to beat yourself up after every time you mess up. Do you find yourself asking why you are not a "better Christian" than you are? Being someone who writes a Christian blog, sings in church, and is just boldly open about my faith, I sometimes put way too much pressure on myself. At one point in my life, I struggled with this so much that I began to believe I was completely unworthy to even claim the title of a Christian. It is not a place in your walk with Christ that anyone wants to be in.
As Christians, we are called to be Christ-like, and that can be a lot of pressure to put on a human being. I am aware that by identifying as a follower of Jesus, my life is supposed to mirror His, and I get really down on myself about it. "Oh no, I could have done this better. I am the worst Christian ever." "People are going to look at me and think, 'Why would I ever want what she has? She is just as bad as me.'" These are the type of thoughts that sometimes run through my head, and the thing is, there is a big difference in conviction of the Holy Spirit and condemnation of the devil. Satan wants us to feel sorry for ourselves when it comes to sin because if he can get us down and out about our own Christianity, we will not be in the right state of mind to share the gospel with anyone else.
Here is the bottom line: while we are supposed to strive to live as much like Jesus as possible, we will NEVER be Jesus. We are going to get angry, we are going to gossip, we are going to think negative thoughts, we are not always going to be kind. We cannot and will not ever be perfect. If you expect yourself to be perfect, I am sorry to be the one to tell you, but you are never going to grow in your relationship with God. Jesus died so that we could be saved by His wonderful, magnificent, and sufficient grace. That amazing grace is by no means a free pass to sin and live your life whatever way you want to; however, it is always there to catch us when we do stumble.
This grace gives us the desire to be the best we can be, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The issue is that we often forget about that grace when we begin to punish ourselves when we make a mistake. No sin is too big for God to forgive; there is never a moment when Jesus decides, "Okay, you have failed too many times, so I am done with you now." No. That is not how He works. Instead, He wants you to cry out in repentance and allow Him to wash it all away. The fact that you are saved and a child of God is not based upon what you do or do not do: it is about what Christ already did on the cross of Calvary. He did not suffer and die for you to live a life filled with guilt and shame. He suffered and died for you to live a life filled with joy and freedom.
As long as you are doing the best you can, that is all you can do. Do not feel like you are walking on eggshells in your relationship with Christ. People will see Jesus in you by the love you show to them, and when you do fail, they will realize that even they can follow God, too. We are not perfect, we are just forgiven. It is time we children of God stop focusing on being flawless and start focusing on spreading the good news of Jesus Christ.
"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God." Ephesians 2:8 KJV
"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 KJV
