Yesterday was six years ago since my cousin, Big Al went home to be with Jesus. My childhood is filled with sweet memories of him sitting at my kitchen table playing Rook, cracking jokes about me and my sister, and wearing his Florida Gators hat ALL the time. At eleven years old, I had no concept of loss or death until one of the most important people in my life was gone. If you have experienced loss and are having a hard time coping with it, I want you to know God is with you through all of this. In the Bible, it says that Jesus wept over the death of His friend Lazarus (who He ends up raising from the dead). God sympathizes with your loss because He Himself has felt this pain. Jesus cried about Lazarus's death even when He knew Lazarus would live again. We do the same thing when we are sad about the death of our loves ones even when we know they are happier in Heaven.
I know you have heard from everyone that "God has a reason for this," and this is true. However, this statement does not necessarily take away your suffering or answer your questions if you do not truly believe it. You have to trust in the Lord's plans and goodness. It is not easy, and I know that.
To me, Big Al was the great example of what a Christian should be. He was born with the genetic disease, Cystic Fibrosis, and never once, did he complain. He knew the Lord gave him that life because he was strong enough to live it. Did having this strong faith cure Big Al of his disease? No, but it did allow him to live a life filled with joy and contentment.
You can find this same joy, but you will not find it anywhere except in Christ. Stop dwelling on your own pain, and let the Comforter come to you. You are always going to miss your loved one, and you will always remember them; however, it is okay to be happy. I can guarantee your loved one would want you to grasp tightly to the Lord and find peace in your life. I spent a long time where I would just come home from school, sit in my room alone, and cry. I would walk down the hallways with my head down to hide the pain in my eyes. Is this the life Big Al would want me to have? That was the question I began to ask myself. I cried out to God begging him to take away the heartache of losing Al, the emptiness of his absence, and the guilt of things left unsaid.
He set me free of the constant weight I carried for so many years. I will never stop loving and missing my Big Al, but I know God's thoughts are above my thoughts. He used the hardest season of my life to mold me into the person I am today. A life filled with suffering, anger, and bitterness is not the life Jesus died for you to have. I am sure He has placed people in your life who love you and are praying for you. Rely on the Lord first and then these Godly people to help you. Death is not something that is easy to cope with, but it is much easier to deal with when you have God strengthening you.
"I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." -John 14:18 KJV
"Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah." -Psalm 62:8 KJV (my favorite verse)
"Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted."- Matthew 5:4 KJV
