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Today is a special day. Today is a sweet day. Today is my resurrection day.
On this day, 12 years ago, I put my faith and trust in Jesus. He saved me. He changed my life. He changed my eternity.
I was raised in church, saved at 10. But what most people probably wouldn't guess is how I wrestled with questions about salvation for 2 years.
When I was 8, the church I grew up in did an Easter play. I could've told you for as long as I can remember that Jesus died for me, but it wasn't until that night that I understood what that meant. As I watched the actor who played Jesus hang on the cross, I felt my heart break. Jesus loved and helped people: why did they do this to Him?
At the end of the play, the Gospel was presented, and the blinders were taken off. The Holy Spirit showed me something that I had believed all my life but never really processed: Jesus died for me.
For the first time, I understood that I was a sinner. I was separated from God. I didn't have a relationship with Him. I didn't know Him. And Jesus died and rose from the dead to save me from my sin.
But my understanding ended there.
This night began a 2 year journey. A journey that can only be described as me trying to wrap my natural mind around the supernatural.
I was so analytical even back then. I couldn't understand how after praying a prayer I could know for certain Jesus had saved me. I also thought I needed to understand essentially everything about the Bible, so I was asking very big theological questions (questions I'm sure my mom wondered how an 8 year old even thought to ask).
But, 12 years ago today, at a Sunday night church service, God got my attention. I can't explain it. All I know is He showed me it was time to let go of my doubt and my need to understand everything and simply trust Him. Just trust Him. That's it. Nothing difficult or confusing. Just trust.
I called on His name and confessed I was a sinner. I told Him I believe He died for me and rose from the dead and asked Him to save me. As I opened my eyes and looked up, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest. I felt so free, so fearless.
I looked up at my pastor at the time and said, "I'm not scared anymore.
He asked me, "Did Jesus save you?"
I smiled and said, "Yes, He did."
On the way home that night, I remember telling my mom and dad, "I never have to be scared of anything ever again."
How true is that?
10 year old, newly saved me had a faith that I think a lot of adult believers struggle to have sometimes. But she was right. When you have a relationship with Jesus, you never have to be scared of anything ever again. He's with you, He's for you, He loves you, He will protect you, and He will provide for you!
What happened next makes me smile as I type it. I went to school the next day and told everyone I possibly could about Jesus. I got baptized the very next Sunday. I dove into Bible reading and realized later that two of my spiritual gifts are knowledge and teaching. So that curiosity to learn everything about everything in the Bible definitely came in handy later.
Today, as I think about what all God has done in my life, I remember that the same kid who used to struggle so much with confusion about Jesus and salvation is now a 22 year old young woman working in full-time ministry with one of the main tasks of my role being to write content specifically designed to share the Gospel with kids! Every day in my writing, God uses my story!
Over the last 12 years, I have seen God continue to conform me into the image of His Son and make me more like Him. I have seen Him use even the most painful moments, like losing my papaw to COVID-19, to draw me closer to Him and into an even deeper faith. Walking with Jesus is the absolute biggest honor and joy of my life, and I can't wait to see more of what His plan for my life is.
The past 12 years have been the sweetest journey, and I know God still has so much for me. I love my story, and even more than that, I love the Author.
"May the Lamb receive His reward in me"
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